Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 9 April 2012

image for Spoof Writers Demand That Skoob1999 Be Banned From The Spoof Website
Well I'll Be Banned!

A delegation of leading spoof writers for internationally acclaimed satirical website, TheSpoof.co.uk have joined forces in lobbying the site owner, Mark Lowton, demanding that Martin Shuttlecock, aka Skoob1999 be banned from the site indefinitely.

East End motor vehicle technician, Clive Danton, who does oil changes in a gaff off Cambridge Heath Road in London Fields has seemingly joined forces with the wonky eyed nurse, Juanita Juan, some philosophical French speaking type known as Lynton, a Nottingham heavy mob enforcer known only by his codename, Inchy, and a bloke called Pinxit who draws Tommy Cooper tribute pictures for a living, and they have demanded that Skoob be banned from the site indefinitely.

As of now. With immediate effect.

Their demands were backed up by another bloke who speaks a bit of French, works as a heating engineer and publishes crap books about Dorking in his spare time, and an avant garde artist known as 'Rebel' who is particularly pissed off because QPR lost yesterday.

"We was robbed," Rebel claimed. "It was never a penalty. That Ashley Young's a diving wanker, and the red card was well out of order."

It is thought that the writers joined forces in order to have Skoob banned because he is a comedic genius with a smooth understated style of writing which knocks their pretentious and somewhat pathetic attempts at humour into a cocked hat.

"He's a right wanker," said Lynton.

"It isn't that," Juanita Juan interjected. "Yes, we know and appreciate that the man's an utter cunt and all that, but the real problem was yesterday's football results. He's been saying all along that Manchester City will bottle it, and that United - who haven't even played very well all season - will win the league. It looks pretty much like that's going to happen now, and he's going to become more of a smug, insufferable cock-end than he was before. He has to go. It's that simple. The tosser will flood the Spoof with stories taking the piss out of Manchester City, and we simply can't afford to have that happen. It's an even worse scenario than a plethora of penis/vagina stories. Ban the bastard now! That's what I say. Before it's too late..."

"He has to go," agreed Spoof historian, Ellis Ian Fields. "He's a pain in the arse. And even Sidney Bollocks is running out of patience with him."

Skoob1999 was unavailable for comment as he was busy bashing out an anti-Manchester City story and taking notes for a scathing article about the decline and fall of Liverpool Football Club.

Mark Lowton was still in bed at the time of going to press.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: The Spoof, Skoob1999

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
87 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more