Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 1 March 2012

image for Donald Trump Says He Does Not Want To See Sacha Baron Cohen's Birth Certificate - He Wants Him Deported
President Obama talking on the phone with Donald Trump. (Photo courtesy of Oprah Winfrey).

NEW YORK CITY - Multi-billionaire Donald Trump has never been one to hold back on how he feels.

The star of The Celebrity Apprentice has made it known that he did not like Admiral General Aladeen alias Sacha Baron Cohen's Academy Award Red Carpet prank he pulled on Ryan Seacrest.

Trump said that if it had been him that the pompous jerk (Trump's words) had spilled the Bisquick Pancake Mix on, his security guards would have pounced on him quicker than stink on a skunk.

He went on to say that not only should this mad man not have been allowed to attend the Academy Award Show, he should have been arrested and charged with First Degree Flagrante Delicto Per Se Powderitis.

The man with the unique golden hairdo went on to say that the "Urn Tosser" is very lucky that he did not pull that school yard stunt on someone like Tommy Lee Jones, Mickey Rourke, or Mike Tyson because there probably would not have been much left of the bearded bum to fill a coffee cup.

Donald Trump has contacted his attorney and he has sent a certified letter to President Obama stating he does not care to see Sacha Baron Cohen's birth certificate.

Trump made it abundantly clear in no uncertain terms that he wants for the pathetic prankster, whose real name is Skippy Fickyweather, to be deported back to his home country of Wadiya.

The financial mogul has said that he will personally pay for Mr. Fickyweather's air fare so that it does not cost the American taxpayers one red cent.

California attorney Ginger Allred, cousin of the well known lawyer Gloria Allred, noted that The Hollywood Entertainment Industry Federation has stated that the individual who is also known as Borat Sagdiyev has been fined $100,000 for his sophomoric self-promotional stunt.

Admiral General Aladeen, who has more names than a Russian spy, was contacted by The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle and asked to comment on Donald Trump's proposal that he be deported.

He took a sip from his bottle of expired water and then angrily declared that no one disrespects Wadiya's most popular and most handsome citizen.

He then vowed that his next act against the evil invaders (?) will be to cut Donald Trump's silly-looking golden hair off and feed it to his pet anaconda snake, Chester Jr.

In late breaking sports news. The ownership of the NBA Charlotte Bobcats, who are 4-29, and hold the worst record of any of the 30 professional basketball teams have denied that they have hired noted Louisiana voodoo woman Madam Lottie Jo Lafayette to cast an evil spell on all of Charlotte's upcoming opponents.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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