Gene Simmons of KISS Says Madonna Has No Business Performing At The Super Bowl Because She Lip Syncs

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 11 December 2011

image for Gene Simmons of KISS Says Madonna Has No Business Performing At The Super Bowl Because She Lip Syncs
Madonna denies that she lip syncs but most people know better. (Photo by Vice-President Joe Biden).

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - KISS bassist Gene Simmons who stars in the cable reality show Gene Simmons Family Jewels has really fired off quite a volley at Madonna who has just been selected to perform at the upcoming Super Bowl XLVI (46).

Simmons spoke with Chipper Caruso of Cowbell Notes Music Magazine. The Kiss star flat out said that the artist formerly known as Madonna has about as much business singing at the Super Bowl as Joan Rivers has of appearing on stage at a Miss America Beauty Pageant.

Gene "The Machine" stated that he cannot stand singers and especially female singers, and real old female singers at that, who lip sync to their pre-recorded records.

He pointed out that this type of karaoke lip syncing mentality has got to stop as it makes the industry look cheap and seedy. He said that was one of the reasons why Britney Spears got her "Oops" ass kicked out of Australia last year.

Simmons added that the other reason was that Britney was allegedly caught trapping baby koala bears and trying to ship them back home to Hollywood.

He went on to say that Ashlee Simpson, Jessica's younger sister, also made a fool of herself on Saturday Night Live back on October 25, 2004, when her band was playing one song and due to a technical malfunction she was lip syncing to another song.

He noted that Ashlee even made everything worse when she started dancing the hokey pokey and trying to make it seem as if the whole mess had actually been planned that way.

Ashlee basically did the very same thing two weeks later at a grand opening of a Home Depot Store in Saginaw, Michigan and then again two days later at a private birthday party in West Hollywood for Kara DioGuardi.

SOUND BITE: Madonna could not be reached for a comment as her assistant said that she had gone to the Zippidy Do Da Electronics Store in Manhattan to see about purchasing a brand new state-of-the-art lip sync music machine system.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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