Britney Spears Losing Customers By The Hour But According To GroupOn Customes Prefer Discounts

Funny story written by Alvin Taveras

Wednesday, 26 October 2011


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LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears, one of the first pop divas in America since Sam Adams started keeping track of the Diva list and when Donald Trump bought out the pageants of the world so he can pick and choose his mistresses by the year, is apparently having trouble selling her music albums.

As she continues her tour for her latest album, 'Femme Fetale' Britney Spears hit a bump in the road in her few ticket sales. The pop diva is essentially having trouble selling tickets in her upcoming UK concert.

We reached her manager, Larry Rudolph, for comment and he tells us that an economic downturn will usually have this kind of effect on music tours such as his client, Britney Spears. Rudolph also slipped in that they have signed on with Groupon to help sell tickets because Ticketmaster is greedy and 'just plain wrong.'

Ironically, Groupon, for those who don't know, is a deal of the day website that alerts subscribers to coupons and savings of products and services being sold to the public. Essentially, it is a marketplace for middleclass and the cheap rich.

So when Britney Spears and GroupOn signed the contract, gossip sites, entertainment news, and Barbara Walters knew immediately that her reason for the GroupOn contract was because of low ticket sales thereby using the popularity of Groupon to sell the public cheaper tickets.

Promoter LiveNation was vexed when we asked for a comment referring to media as vultures and insensitive and indecent and said, "Offering a deal on Groupon is not a reflection of the quality or status or sales of a show."

Tickets for her October 30 "Femme Fatale" show in Birmingham is reduced via Groupon, whether promoter LiveNation defends the move or not. But they are also being sold wherever Kevin Federline is roaming.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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