Kate Gosselin Says She Wants To Have Steven Tyler's Baby - And She Stresses "Plural - Baby"

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 18 October 2011


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READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin is still devastated at the fact that her reality show Kate Plus 8 was cancelled.

She recently told a close friend that the past two years have been pretty rough on her going back to her divorce from her Korean husband Jon Gosselin and then last year when she got her butt kicked on Dancing With The Stars.

Kate also noted that to add further insult to injury her bodyguard and rumored very, very close friend Steve Nield suddenly quit on her saying that he just got tired of stepping on kids' crayons, kids' Pop Tarts, and kids period.

According to several entertainment media news programs including Bedroom Pillow Talk and Tittle Tattle Tonight Kate had fallen in love with Nield and had actually asked him to leave his wife and move in with her and her eight kids and he could have his way with her every night.

Nield changed his cell phone number and has not spoken to Gosselin in over 10 months.

Kate recently sat down and had a nice conversation with Sangria Wine of TV ClickerWorld at a local Pepe's Land of The Enormous Enchilada Restaurant in downtown Reading.

Gosselin had the Deluxe Salma Hayek Vegan Five Enchilada Dinner with an Eight-Layer Guacamole Taco Dip and a Corona Light Beer. Wine had a Diet Turkey Burrito and a bottle of Ozarka Diet Water.

Kate told Miss Wine that if it had not been for rock star and American Idol judge Steven Tyler coming into her life and seeing her through a very trying experience that she does not know where she would have ended up. (Milwaukee maybe?).

Wine asked her if things between her and Tyler were getting serious. Kate grinned as she crossed her legs. She took a bite out of one of her vegan enchiladas and said that she is so smitten with Tyler that all she has to do is think about him and she can give herself a "Big O."

Sangria Wine shook her head and said "No way."

"Way!" Kate shouted. "And I mean damn way!"

Kate told her that she has been doing a lot of thinking lately and that she is seriously thinking about adding on to the eight.

She told Miss W that she had not told anyone yet but that she decided yesterday evening while she was watching an old NYPD Blue rerun that she wants to have Steven Tyler's baby.

Kate smiled and added, "Plural - baby."

In other news. Cher says that she is getting ready to go into the recording studio and record a new album to be titled, 'Armenian Love Songs That I Remember Whistling Back In Grade School.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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