Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 26 September 2011

image for The Reasons Taylor Lautner and Lily Collins Ended Their Relationship
A photo of Lily Collins which Taylor took when the couple visited Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion.

LOS ANGELES - The star of the Twilight series Taylor Lautner and his Abduction co-star and girlfriend Lily Collins have just announced that they are no longer a couple.

Speaking with an entertainment media reporter at the famed Grauman's Chinese Theater Lautner said that he really wanted to explain exactly why he and Lily had decided to end their relationship.

Taylor told Tittle Tattle Tonight's Kiowa Kettle that he does hate to admit it but part of his reason for ending his romance with Miss Collins was due to the age difference.

Kettle looked at him in disbelief as she remarked that he is 19 and Lily is 22 which is only a difference of three years. Taylor grinned and admitted that it was true but that no matter how many years older than him she was, the fact of the matter was that she was still older and he would always be subjected to having to hear people, especially media types, constantly harp on the idea that he is dating a "Cougar."

Lautner explained that he did not want to be another Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, or another Madonna and whichever young boy she happens to be with this month.

Taylor was told by Kettle that there really aren't a whole lot of celebrities who are going to be younger than him.

He thought for a moment and said, "Taylor Swift?"

"She's 21" Kettle replied.

"Okay, Ashley Tisdale?"


"How about Ashley Greene?"

"She's 24."

Taylor got a look of disgust on his face. Kettle told him that maybe he can just date a girl who isn't a celebrity.

Kiowa was able to reach Lily at the home of her father, music icon Phil Collins, and she asked her if she wanted to comment on her breakup with Taylor.

She replied that she just got tired of being with a guy who spent way too much time looking in the mirror and staring at his muscles.

Collins went on to say that yes she was proud that Taylor took care of himself but she just did not like the fact that many times while they were out somewhere having dinner that he would suddenly raise up his shirt and show the waiter or waitress his abs.

Lily mentioned that she did want to make one thing clear and that was that contrary to what the supermarket tabloid Just Saying had printed the reason for their breakup was not due to the fact that Taylor had asked her to trim her bushy eyebrows and she refused.

ARTICLE TIDBIT: Lily Collins told Kiowa Kettle that her all-time favorite celebrity is Brooke Shields and that the reason that she does not trim her eyebrows is because she wants to have eyebrows that look just like her idol's.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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