Queen Mother's car pelted with flowers

Written by Simon Cole

Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for Queen Mother's car pelted with flowers

Queen Catherine the Queen Mother was being driven through the centre of London in her maroon ninety year old high top Rolls Royce yesterday, when she was spotted by pedestrians walking past street vendors selling flowers.

They mobbed the car forcing it to stop, and the Queen Mother wound down the windows and shook hands with many of the consenters.

Drivers of hooting traffic got out and joined in the adulation. The flower stands were devastated as people grabbed blooms to shower over the car or thrust through the windows.

This is the first time the Queen Mother, who was dressed in black with a black fascinator, has been seen public since the death of her beloved King William five years ago.

This particular car, with strange paint spattering on the boot, was left to the Queen Mother many years ago in the will of the old Queen Elizabeth who often used it for official occasions, and which Queen Catherine had used to travel to her wedding. Queen Catherine was known to love the collection of classic petrol cars left to her by her late father-in-law Prince Charles when he died on the same day Britain left the European Union, uttering his famous last words 'Bugger Brussels'.

A spokesman for Buckingham Palace said that King Edward would pay for all the flowers that were thrown at his mother as he was delighted she was being seen in public again.

The Labour Prime Minister Leo Blair insisted that the government would pay, although cynics insist that this is simply a small atonement for his father's eleven year reign of opportunism, and that anyway the country was flush with funds since leaving the EU.

The UKIP Home Secretary in the new coalition government, Frazer Brown, who was born shortly after his father left office as the most disastrous Chancellor and Prime Minister in Britain's history, said that no-body would be prosecuted for stopping the traffic and since Britain was once again had the soundest economy in the world, next Monday will be a Bank Holiday.

The crowd finally got completely out of control, and pushed the Queen Mother's car all the way to Harrods led by her royal protection officer, where she had decided to go in person to buy an outfit for her forthcoming trip to the new Royal Yacht Elizabeth. She was welcomed at the door by Harrods controversial owner, Owen Kinnock, who used the millions left to him by his EU funded grandparents, Neil and Glenys Kinnock, to buy the store.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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