Written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

image for Sex Toy Manufacturer Used Justin Bieber Image Illegally
Britney - Claims Not To Use JB Love Eggs, But Somehow Manages To Look A Little Weak At The Knees!

Sex Toy manufacturing company, Clitcock Ltd of Braintree, Essex, were today fined £10,000 by magistrates in the town for illegally using the image of the 16 year old Canadian singing sensation's image on their products.

HM Customs and Excise also confiscated all of the company's illegal stock and earmarked it for destruction.

Among the items displayed before the court, were a range of vibrating massagers which displayed Bieber's head on the penetrative end, ladies' panties with printed images of Bieber's face with his tongue sticking out on the inside of the crotchpiece, a number of explicit posters featuring Bieber's head superimposed over stills from 80s porn movies, 'love eggs' (female masturbatory aids tied together with string) moulded in the shape of Justin Bieber's head, butt plugs which resembled Bieber's head, complete with funky Canadian quiff, and a life sized inflatable vinyl Justin Bieber sex doll with outsized cock and bollocks moulded in indestructable rubber.

Plus some other stuff, related to bondage and torture which are too explicit - and frankly, eye watering - to mention on a family website.

Ali Bullo, Managing Director of Clitcock Ltd paid the fine by scented rubber cheque, and complained to Skoob Business News that:

"Them bastards, mate, innit. Ten fousand pound fine for making Bieber into a cock is very bad for kebab van business. Is all bollocks. What about free enterprise? This is what 'appen when you try to go legit. Fucking bastards! From now on me stick to selling under counter from kebab vans photoshopped posters of Stacey Solomon giving Shaun Ryder big blow job while Gillian McKeith lick him bollocks."

Nigel Havers refused to take any part in this article, but Miley Cyrus's close confidante, Gloria Autobahn, told us:

"I'm pretty sure Miley would be keen to get her hands on some of this shit."

More as we get it - probably when Miley stops yakking.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.

Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
82 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more