Find a date today

Funny story written by Mark

Friday, 3 December 2010

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"I found the dates! I win Christmas!"

The Christmas period is upon us, and it's a time for much happiness and joy to spread across Earth. Ironically, it's also a time of much misery and sadness, especially for those people who are alone at Christmastime.

However, a new initiative started by an online company is there to help those poor unfortunate individuals with their outreach programme to help lonely people to find a date this Christmas holiday season.

The practice of finding dates, or "dating" as it's known, dates back to biblical times when people in the Middle East would bury the harvested fruit in the ground during the autumn months, ready to be feasted upon over the winter period. Inevitably some burial sites would be lost, and thus the pastime of date hunting came to fruition.

An Apocryphal script accounts a time when Jesus Himself would go dating in the winter months with his disciples.

The date finder website offers a chance for unhappy people to come together at Christmas to take part in various date hunts around the world.

Similar to the ancient tradition, packets of supermarket-bought dates are buried in a secret location, and a group of date hunters is given clues to find the hidden bounty. The team must work together to track down the concealed treats, and then revel in the moment of discovery before devouring the delicious dried fruits.

Scientists hope that the resurgence in this bygone hobby will bring about a 20% drop in worldwide unhappiness over the Christmas period, rising to 30% in predominantly Christian countries.

British Prime Minister David Cameron hopes that the rise in happiness figures will bring a much needed boost to the world's economy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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