Heston Blumenthal's Christmas Pudding Recipe Stolen

Funny story written by Katarina Frogpond2

Sunday, 28 November 2010


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image for Heston Blumenthal's Christmas Pudding Recipe Stolen
Main ingredient in Scottish Superchef's Mince Pies

Heston Blumenthal is in a state of shock tonight after his Christmas Pudding recipe got stolen by another well known Superchef. To make matters worse, this other chef, who just happens to be Scottish, wants to sell the pudding at a leading supermarket for half the price of Heston's Pudding.

The Scottish scoundrel, who has recently fallen on financial hard times, is said to be delighted with his stolen pudding because its so fantastic that everyone is willing to pay a fortune for it. He knows that this is the answer to all his money problems.

Heston, on the otherhand is devastated. It took him two years to work out the exact scientific formula to make that magic pudding and then, just as he was beginning to reap the rewards of all his hard work, the formula disappears from his kitchen.

But as bad as losing his pudding to his leading competitor was, nothing could prepare Heston for what happened next. When Heston tried to remake his pudding without the magic formula he realised he had made his pudding so complex that he couldn't remember how he made it.

This means there will be no more Heston Blumenthal puddings made for the next two years. That is how long it will take for him to do all his experimentations all over again to get the pudding exactly correct again.

The Scottish Chef is very happy with this situation because it means his pudding will be the only Superchef promoted pudding in the Supermarkets.

Upon being asked if he had any regrets about his crime, the Scottish Chef said "No. Its dog eat dog in the Superchef world, and I'm always going to be top dog in this game"

Heston Blumenthal was enraged by this statement because he has long suspected that the Meany Scottish Superchef has been putting dog meat in his Mince Pies... especially just after Christmas when dog meat becomes free, usually tied to a lamp-post.

Heston said Europe will be furious when they hear about this and he plans to report the Scot very soon, just after he's done some experiments with his telephone to find out exactly the correct way to make the phone call so it gives the exact effect he wants it to.

It could take another two years. Everything has to be perfect. Nothing can be left to chance, as is the case with everything that Heston does.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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