Microsoft Kinect Hits the Shops

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 9 November 2010

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Kinect has had mixed reviews

Microsoft's new console that intends to beat the Nintendo Wii at it's own platform game hit the shops today, and gamers are salivating about trying it out, but early reviews are mixed.

"It's a brilliant device," said games reviewer Carl O'Dutti. "You wave your hands and move your body, the Kinect detects that and does something on the screen. It works flawlessly."

O'Dutti is not all that impressed however. "I have reservations. So far there are only two games that take advantage of the device, a stupid dance game aimed at twelve year old girls called Strictly Come Barbie, and Air Guitar Hero aimed at teenage boys. Both are rubbish."

Microsoft do bundle a suite of games with the device that aim to showcase it's abilities, but heading a football and popping bubbles soon wanes in terms of enjoyment.

"We expect developers to take up this new sphere of games control," said Kinect designer, Wayne Waxen. "We're hoping for shoot 'em ups with toy guns, sports games where you kick and throw and platformers where you have to jump around. Sadly they're not quite finished yet. But the dancing is fun, and I'm level seventy-one on Air-Guitar Hero."

Microsoft are confident that people will buy the Kinect in their millions, forcing game designers to sit up and take note.

A word of warning comes from Nintendo, makers of the Wii, however.

"One in four households in Europe have a Wii, and that's higher in Japan and America," said Wii games designer James Brown (not that one). "So far there are about a dozen games that use the Wii remote. People are getting fed up. The Kinect is going to bomb. Unless they create an interface to Farmville, then even I'd buy it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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