Popeye lodges claim against supermarket

Funny story written by churchmouse

Wednesday, 13 October 2010


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I'm Popeye the sailorman, A sailor is what I am etc, etc.

Lawyers for Popeye The Sailorman have commenced legal action against Tesbury's Supermarkets after it was claimed that their client had suffered a defamation of character when confronted by a display of one of Tesbury's "own brand" products.

"I was a-going for me spinach" explained Popeye. "When me eyes saw a shelf of Tesbury extra virgin Olive OIl. Well, me an Olive have been going steady since 1938, an' to suggest that me gal is a virgin is a slur on me sailor-like qualities arf, arf!"

It is believed that Popeye's lawyers are demanding 12 tons of spinach and 5 tons of pipe tobacco in damages.

A spokeswoman for Tesbury's - Ms Barbara Hanna - stated during a press conference today: "Following legal advice, the board of directors of Tesbury's totally dismiss this claim as being both frivolous and without foundation, and we certainly will not be offering to settle out of court".

She also added: "And as Popeye is a fictional cartoon character, he can go and fuck himself".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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