Guaranteed Airline Seat for the Obese

Funny story written by C. Cranium

Monday, 1 March 2010

image for Guaranteed Airline Seat for the Obese
No more walking for you my friend, get flying!

The recent and highly publicized seat denial of an influential journalist on a Southwest flight raises anxiety in the would-be obese air travelling public.

So you are a few pounds off the chart? You've still got a right to visit Mom or go on vacation. This is discrimination.

Southwest, and all air carriers, should be talking to McDonalds about the 800-calorie snacks that lead to this denial of rights rather than abusing their customer base.

Now there is an immediate solution to the risk of flight denial for the obese, pleasantly plump, and 'prosperous' physique.

XYZ Research and a group of laid-off Lockeed Martin contract engineers have found a solution.

Using what they could remember of military stealth technology, without violating confidential top-secret agreements, the engineers developed a viable cosmetic use of stealth.

Six man-years of research, analysis, design, and testing have produced a clothing accessory product line that ensures the Airlines don't notice you are weight limitation challenged.

You appear slim without actually being slim.

X-rays and Radar do not detect an extra bulge hidden here or there.

Today XYZ Research introduced their new products to the purchasing public population at an introductory price.

The men's and women's products must be worn with the accompanying undergarment in order to work.

The products are called: The Fly-Now Scarf for Women, The Fly-Now Sweater Vest for Men, and The Fly-Now Physique Defining Undergarments.

The Fly-Now Scarf is an extra generous wrap that can be worm draped over the neck or wrapped around the waist.

The Fly-now sweater vest is a wool blend with v-neck.

Both products are available in XXL thru XXXXXXL and numerous colors.

Initially the products can only be purchased on-line at the XYZ website.

XYZ is in negotiations with Nordstrom's for an exclusive offering.

Potentially the long term growth of the use of stealth technology in the wearing apparel industry is huge XYZ touts that you will look great, feel great, and can forget the diet.

I've got a loaner product and a preliminary look in the mirror and I saw a skinny me.

I am sampling the product on a commuter flight tomorrow and will report the full results.

I'm hoping to appear slim without actually being slim.

As XYZ claims: "Look like what you want to look like while remaining yourself".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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