London - (X-Files): An extraterrestrial cyber glitch closed down the City trading giant just as the Emirate of Dubai was about to declare itself insolvent.
Frantic brokers say a mystery craft emblazoned in Shaikh Mohammed McTomb-Raider's Godolphin Racing colors had been seen hovering above the LSE building.
Its iconic royal blue Godolphin livery glowed brilliantly as the Exchange's screens came crashing down.
Moments earlier a freakish alien pulse, thought to be a UFO gamma ray hybrid blast, shook the iconic City building bringing down power lines and blocking thousands of Square Mile toilets.
FTSE 100 index of leading shares plummetted 99.84 points as shellshocked traders panicked ahead of scheduled Thanksgiving Day profit taking.
Psychokinesis grand master Uri Geller has denied all responsibility.