Witchdoctors Push Paranoia Potions For Halloween

Funny story written by Illusnist

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

image for Witchdoctors Push Paranoia Potions For Halloween
This man is starting a world-wide plot against you personally.

Undra Rock, Montana - After numerous upheavals and setbacks during the past year, the WWCF (World Witchcraft Federation) announced this week the release of a brand new potion perfect for the bewitching season: The Purple Paranoia Potion. Company executives are betting heavily on paranoia becoming a favorite prank to pull on unsuspecting friends, relatives, and random victims. Estimates out of Las Vegas show as much as 22% of WWCF stock has been liquidated and placed on the big 3P at odds of 3 to 1.

One of the big burly men guarding the entrance to the WWCF compound commented, "You come closer, I break face," one of many secret codes the WWCF uses for pre-release product promotions.

One thing for sure, if random rumors and the word on the street are accurate, the Purple Paranoia Potion needs to be successful for the ailing company to regain marketshares lost during the upheavals that took place during the previous 12 months, beginning with Love Potion #9 being dropped from Cupid's arrows, and progressing through accusations of potions tainted with such emotions as apathy and outright hostility.

An independent researcher commented, "Think of it this way, maybe you can't cure paranoia, but at least you can let everyone experience the thrill. It will give people the same old things to talk about, like doomsday, world economic collapse. Peak Oil, and the effects of global warming or cooling or whatever they are calling it these days.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more