The mega-mobile telephone merger planned between "Telecum" and Orange has caused many worries amongst parents of addicted Texters, Porno-looking kids and the Catholic Church!
Telecum and Orange will then have 40% of the mobile-telephone market in the UK and have promised to make Texting and access to porno very much cheaper!
UK kids (and most other kids too!) are completely and utterly addicted to their mobiles (any kid caught without one is tarred and feathered, put in the stocks, called an anti-social Untermensch and outcasted!).
This increase of texting is causing excess thumb damage with many kids already lined up for transplant operations!
Pornos are causing a plague of sore bums and long queues at public toilets while kids and their peers sit on bogs wanking themselves to death!
Train owners have also noticed an upsurge in wet seats on their late trains due to people having "shagless" nights out and wanking all the way home on the last trains, UUUGH!
Telecum and Orange have promised to dedicate 25% of their increased profits, expected through the merger, into building REHAB homes built especially for the most endangered group of mobile Texters and Porno-ers, kids between 2 and 9 years respectively, the older one's can jerk off somewhere else!
