London - (Rioters): Hellfire Club pornbrokers are calling in the IOUs this week ahead of Wednesday's apocalyptic 9/9/9 numerology.
Starting with half a dozen Canary Wharf smug bastards who have grown fat perpetrating the myth of Hong Kong's repatrition to Chinese rule, the Illuminati's bagmen are lying in wait for a Millenium Bug-style cyber smash'n'grab.
Triple A-rated Schnitzel Bank, Panzer Rabblefocker Holdings (Curacao), Frankfurter Sauerkraut Gemeinschaft, Bayerische Hypo-und-Verminsbank AG, Berlin-Hannoversche Hypothetical-Moneylaunderingbanken and Deutsche Shiftybank Actien-Gesellschaft are all believed to have been targeted in the phishing scam.
"Zees is zee trouble mit zee Angela Merkel diktatorshippen," Fritz Fritzl comnmented today, "bloody great big black hole in balance shit accounting."
Northern Crock Bank (Hanover) AG went bust six weeks ago.