Cash For Clunkers - "Bring Me Your Faulty Commercial Passenger Jets"

Funny story written by Wire Piddle

Tuesday, 23 June 2009

image for Cash For Clunkers - "Bring Me Your Faulty Commercial Passenger Jets"
Personal Injury Liti-gator

Beverly Hills, CA - Used car dealer, Mark Lipbaum, also known as 'Crazy Mark', has an offer we think most people would agree with. He wants commercial airlines to trade in their passenger jets; the ones that are short on reliability.

He's willing to give anyone that shows up on his lot with a passenger jet cash or credit towards a brand new SUV or pickup truck.

"Every day I read about another commuter plane losing a wheel or a large jet with pressurization problems and I just say 'enough already'. Let's get them out of the skies and restore confidence in the commercial aviation industry. It may not seem like a fair trade, swapping a multimillion dollar jet for a used SUV or pickup but it's all I can offer," Crazy Mark stated.

"The truth of the matter is, there are a lot of personal injury lawyers out there just waiting like buzzards for one more of these jets to fall from the sky so they can swoop down and bankrupt their owners. I should know. My brother's one of them."

"So the only logical thing is for these airline executives to cut their losses while they're ahead, before another accident happens and they're up to their armpits in alligators. Ha..ha..ha..ha!"

People haven't been rushing to take Crazy Mark up on his offer. In fact he hasn't had a nibble. Perhaps the fact that his showroom entranceway could barely accomodate a semi trailer truck let alone a jumbo jet had something to do with it but most of the members of the used car dealer association that he belongs to feel he might have to sweeten the deal.

Rory Calhoun, one such member, suggests he might consider throwing in free key fobs or license plate holders.

"I think he might consider throwing in a free key fob or two and some license plate holders," said Rory.

As far as what Crazy Mark intends to do with the commercial jets once they start rolling up to the lot is another unanswered question. However, one of his employees suggested that Mr. Lipbaum has quite a few relatives who could use relocating from the trailer parks they currently reside in and he may be planning a gated community on some vacant property he owns in the desert.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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