General Motors to Prevent Auto Erratic Asphyxiation

Funny story written by Pointer

Wednesday, 10 June 2009


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image for General Motors to Prevent Auto Erratic Asphyxiation
Grasshopper found bliss in a cramped tractor cab with a small ball of twine

Car companies have been choking consumers with inflated prices and high pressure sales techniques since time immemorial. For as long,they have been polluting city and countryside with their poisonous products. Now that Mr Economic Trouble has come around and Mighty Mouse is nowhere to be found, a series of commercials starring David Carradine as the Kung Fu guru will be aired in support of the new GM.

In the first ad, Guru Carradine tells faithful young student Grasshopper that once upon a time car dealers actually tried to sell fictious add ons like undercoating. Just say no advises the wise AmerAsian. A second commercial warns Grasshopper that making out in the backseat of an auto can lead to unexpected consequences. The sex scene in the car is followed by the sound of maniacal wingeing from a baby and grotesque STD imagery.

In the final advertisement Kung Fu admonishes Grasshopper for his attraction to SUV's. GM's new guru denounces pollution and global warming: " Ah so Grasshopper, forget about the big roomy gas guzzler, a wise man can have much fun with a little rope in a small fuel efficient economy car..."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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