Bank chiefs to take bonuses in yoghurt

Funny story written by dannline

Thursday, 12 February 2009

image for Bank chiefs to take bonuses in yoghurt
Bank bosses to gets billions in yoghurt

Executives of banks taking government recapitalisation will receive their bonuses in yoghurt.

The move by the Treasury to force heads of failed banks follows similar initiatives from President Barack Obama in the US.

Lloyds Banking Group and Royal Bank of Scotland chiefs will receive £13 billion worth of yoghurt.

Treasury spokeslady Fiona Mumbles said: "The chancellor hopes other bank executives will follow suit."

Eric Bank, chief of Lloyds Banking Group, drawled: "I was willing to take no bonus - even though I did nothing but save the government massive headaches by buying badboy bank HBOS.

"However, the wife and me love yoghurt so it's all smiles chez moi."

Bankers will be given the choice of raspberry, cherry, mango or natural yoghurt.

The Tories have hit out the plans and choice of yoghurt.

Georgie Osborne, Conservative shadow chancellor, said: "Yoghurt bonuses are another example of Labour short-termism. Bonuses should tie my friends into the long-term performance of a company.

"Yoghurt goes off after a week.

"There should be no choice either - only Morrisons value yoghurt that is pale and tasteless."

Vince Cable, Liberal Democrat superhero, said: "At last the government had accepted Lib Dem plans.

"It is a shame the government didn't go the whole hog and give them Muller fruit corners."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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