Written by Pointer

Monday, 15 December 2008

image for Evangelical Opiate of the People: The Commoners' Religious Bailout
Archbishop Charlotte Tan on her way to an overseas evangelical mission

The 2008 recession has proven to bad for all business except one. The evangelical enterprise of numbing the hopelessness of the ordinary human by relieving them of their last dime has turned out to be a boom industry.

Church attendance is skyrocketing as the unemployed and the recently evicted desperately seek some succor. The very Reverend Holly R Dandow said that she's in the market for a new mansion since her collection plate had to be replaced by a very big bunch of buckets:

"We had eight thousand souls saved at the Holly R Dandow Mission and those newly saved gave what was left of their life savings to the mission."

Archbishop Charlotte Tan of the Bringing in the Sheep and Wool Processing Plant reported a similar windfall:

"The poor lost ones have begged me to save them and didn't even seem to mind that the costly grace of salvation required that they unburden themselves of stocks, bonds and mortgages...All I can say is Thank You, Jesus!!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Religion, bailout

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
61 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more