Written by Jaffa Forbes

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

image for Death Insurance: Berkshire Hathaway Launches New Scheme
This man rejoices over a $5000 claim

A Gas Station, America: Recent stats have positioned Berkshire Hathaway, wild company of mostly Warren Buffet's, as the 20th top firm in the world. Their product sector, 'nonlife insurance', has just taken a turn to the dark side with their new 'death insurance'.

"We're very pleased with this new scheme," said one employee, speaking under the cover of a raincoat under the cover of darkness and who was actually an undercover agent for the KGB, "We feel it has a different and unique edge to the old life insurance."

By signing onto Berkshire Hathaway's death insurance, they will guarantee you a happy death. No mess. No fuss. Just a clean simple death and a nice funeral. Afterwards, if anybody tries to steal your body for laboratory reasons, or even if somebody wants to trample on your grave, Berkshire Hathaway's own division of hitmen will take care of them. And all for a monthly payment of $40 for the rest of eternity, after you're dead.

If you are unhappy with their service and are in the position to rise from the grave in order to make a claim, you can do so quickly and efficiently by using the new 'online chat' system provided on their website.

What's even better is that if Berkshire Hathaway or one of it's subsidiaries fails to kill you within one month, you can make a claim.

"I was on the run from assassins for the whole of January," said Peter Green, a satisfied customer, "Finally, they tracked me down in Kentucky, but thankfully the month was up by then. I received a one-off, no strings attached payment of $3000! It's changed my life."

Jaffa Forbes

Is prone to getting his facts wrong

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Death, insurance

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