The parents of a 14 year-old boy killed in an uninteresting road crash in Scotland have paid tribute to their 'unbelievably sainted and wonderful ickle' son, after he became the 3,012th British road traffic accident vicitim this year.
Sitting at his Elton John piano, his father, Mr. Thingy, said: 'Our son Billy was probably the most intelligent and wonderful genius since the last road accident child was an intelligent and wonderful genius, last Tuesday. He was more like Saint Wossisname than anything else, rather than just a dull, teenage pest who is only in the news to keep journalists employed.'
His mother, Mrs. X, also said: 'He was an annoying fat little git, always thieving and getting into trouble, nobody liked him or had any time for him, if he was alive I'd put him straight back into hospital - yet again.'
And his uncle, Mr. Yawn, added: 'That smelly wee sh****? A car crash is too good for that wee b******, thank f*** he's brown breed or I'd kill him maself.'
Princess Diana was unavailable for comment, but a Mr. Reg Eisenhower wrote an orchestral sympony, with marching band and majorettes, about the life and times of Billy Thingy, called 'Goodbye Billy Thingy'.
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