Manufacturing industry admits they don't make them like they used to

Written by ScottThe Dot

Monday, 28 April 2008

image for Manufacturing industry admits they don't make them like they used to
It all just sounds like noise to me

The Department of Trade and Industry today issued it's long awaited report into current manufacturing processes and concluded that your dad is right - they no longer manufacture using previously valid methods.

"Take the movie industry for example.' said spokesman Kevin Potter ' They used to spend a fortune on real-life stunts that often endangered the lives of cast and crew but now it is much safer to just green-screen everything. They simply no longer need to dangle Jessica Simpson 500 foot off of a bridge by her toes, no matter how much we would like them to.'

'The recording industry is another good example. They used to produce music on a substance called vinyl that would melt in the heat, be scratched by the very device you used to play it on and sounded like a bee in a tin. Nowadays they produce music digitally and it doesn't melt in the heat at all, although my Jessica Simpson album still sounds like a bee in a tin.'

My dad was unavailable for comment due to Countdown being on. The results of the next DTI survey 'Papal religions and the study of Bears in a Forestry context.' is due out next week.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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