Is the Corrupt Bastards Club pulling the strings in the $40 billion Alaskan stash?

Funny story written by queen mudder

Saturday, 3 November 2007

image for Is the Corrupt Bastards Club pulling the strings in the $40 billion Alaskan stash?
The CBC has lusted after the Alaska Permanent Fund's $$$$ for many years

Juneau, Alaska - (Graft, Bribery & Embezzlement Mess): The US Justice Department is probing reports that the Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club is pulling the strings that control the state's $40 billion Alaska Permanent Fund which doshes up residents from big oil tithes.

The move follows claims that the sovereign fund has been recklessly re-invested in dodgy venture capital and hedge funds that are about to bomb big-time.

Since August 9th this year these have taken a huge hammering because of the US sub-prime mortgage business catastrophe.

At the root of the fiasco is the Bush Administration's $3+ trillion binge-out on the Iraq war.

If that kind of spending had been directed at US infrastructure projects the domestic balance sheet might be looking very different right now, according to analysts who remember the myopic foreign policy that ultimately branded the Bush1 Administration as a disaster.

Meanwhile the $40 billion fund may still be generating enough to pay each Alaskan $1,654 per annum from the stash.

But the ultimate consequence of bribery, fraud and embezzlement prosecutions of the Alaskan Corrupt Bastards Club may yet bring down a swathe of the key big oil players who still sit pretty while minor stooges such as VECO top brass and local lawmakers carry the can for nearly 30 years of graft.

"When they finally indict Sen Ted Stevens and Frank Murkowski all hell could be let loose," said an Anchorage source today.

"Expect the dividends from the Permanent Fund to nosedive then. Hell, folks round here could even end up paying tax!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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