Mervyn King on Northern Rock says "buy Mars bars"

Written by fusebox

Saturday, 22 September 2007

image for Mervyn King on Northern Rock says "buy Mars bars"
This is a snickers, but you get the idea

London (Phantom press) - It's been a bad week for the BOE governor after a grilling from the select committee on the Northern Rock fiasco.

King was criticised for not acting earlier to which he replied: "The problems were triggered by the events of August 9. The problems at Northern Rock were drawn to our attention on August 14. If we had jumped in within a week, that could have been very damaging to Northern Rock as an institution.

"At that point there didn't seem much point in blowing up the train before it hit the buffers."

According to one source he had been in a dilemma for weeks and to wind down after a bad day he often goes up to his attic to play with his model train set. That's apparently where he got his idea from.

Mervyn King is rumoured to have come up with an ingenious suggestion as to how to protect savers from inflation. "Simple really" he muttered to a friend "buy mars bars. You see Its a well established fact that mars bars have always moved in line with inflation. I mean lets face it if you put your money in the bank you get a poor rate of interest and its taxed at that. No I think this is a very good idea. Mars bars could be used as currency they must manufacture billions of them worldwide. I mean we are a health conscious nation now so if we all stopped eating them we could use them for our currency and trade in Mars bars on the commodities market".

All eyes will be on the next bank meeting now and analysts will be looking at what his wife packs in his lunch box for any clues on interest rates.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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