Written by Max Wall Street

Saturday, 23 June 2007

image for Blackstone Goes Public

The private equity firm Blackstone has now gone public for 41 billion. With the movie Evan Almighty a disappointment at the box office on Friday, Americans had little else to do but bid up the price of Blackstone from 31 to 35 dollars.

Investors are expected to cash in some of their winnings to see the new Bruce Willis Die Hard Film on Wednesday.

In a few months the financial press is expected to say a critical word or two about Blackstone. Politicians may also pass legislation. They may also do something else.

China was very happy with their purchase of a large block of Blackstone. But many Chinese workers are unhappy that they don't have money to buy Blackstone themselves.

As a return favor, the Bush Administration is closing down Guantanamo Bay detention camp and will lease it to the Chinese for all their dissidents. "We had them making bricks," one Chinese spokesman said, "but some reporters found us out so now we'll have to ship them off to make banana bread"

At the first barrage of bad publicity Tony Blair is expected to take over Blackstone and bring it private again.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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