SACRAMENTO, California - (Satire News) - The attorney general of the state of California has said that due to the peanut butter shortage, kids in the Left Coast state are so upset that they have taken to the streets.
According to iNews reporter Kitty Segovia, in some cities, groups of as many as 200 kiddoes are angry and chanting things like, "Give us our peanut butter!" "We need fucking peanut butter to go with our fucking jelly!" and "No!!! Nutella will not work for me bitch!"
Miss Segovia reported that in the city of Sausalito, kids as young as 8, broke into a Dilly Dally Food Store and made off with the few remaining jars of Skippy Peanut Butter that were left on the shelves.
Meanwhile, a spokesman for Peter Pan Peanut Butter says that his company has put on a second and third shift to help alleviate the peanut butter shortage and turn the angry little punks into happy little boys and girls once again.
