Even Apple Can Misfire With High Tech Gadget

Written by Catchthisdrift

Tuesday, 8 April 2014

image for Even Apple Can Misfire With High Tech Gadget
Misfire could take a bite out of Apple's profits

Rarely do you hear the words Apple and failure in the same sentence, but Apple (APPL NASDAQ) isn't immune to the vagaries of the technology market.

Apple suffered its worst product introduction ever with last month's unveiling of the iPatch.

Although Apple had much-hyped the introduction, it had kept secret the exact nature of the new device. Some analysts hypothesized Apple was going to enter the Android market. Others believed Apple was going to attempt to conquer the world of small home appliances by introducing (very) upscale devices such as coffee makers, blenders and juicers.

The iPatch caught everyone off-guard, including, apparently, the majority of Apple's employees. Only the very top Apple executives and the workers in Apple's overseas factory-prisons were privy to the iPatch.

Hindsight is always 20/20, of course. Or at least it should be. Post-introduction analysis of the iPatch show it to be simply too much of a change from what the market expects from Apple. The gadget - if one can even call it a gadget - consists of either a leather (on the Power iPatch) or vinyl (on the regular iPatch) piece of material, roughly two inches square, the "Vision Restriction Motherboard" as Apple terms it, with an attached elastic "Cranium Connection Platform." The user places the Vision Restricting Motherboard over one eye and stretches the Cranium Connection Platform around the head. Thus placed, the iPatch restricts vision in that eye, while leaving the other eye free to observe its surroundings.

One analyst from Morgon-Smith-Barney believed the intended demographic targeted by Apple was simply too small. On the condition of anonymity, he said "who was Apple trying to reach with the iPatch? Pirates? Are there even that many pirates left in the world? And even if there are, are they shopping at an Apple Store?"

The failure of the iPatch has many analysts who focus on the technology sector, and Apple in particular, wondering if this will cause Apple to reconsider their planned launch of the iScream, scheduled for mid-2015.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more