Spain to raise some money by selling footballers

Funny story written by IainB

Tuesday, 12 June 2012

image for Spain to raise some money by selling footballers
These skyscrapers need paying for you know.

The two largest football teams in Spain have been heavily funded by contributions from the Spanish government. With Spain's economy now in dire straits, with a need to find two billion Euros, it has been determined to reclaim the assets that they helped buy, even if it leaves their two iconic football team, Real Madrid and Barcelona, hamstrung in the face of self-funding Spanish Soccer Clubs.

"We have spent millions and millions on these two teams," said Spanish Finance Minister, Juan Juro a mi Nombre. "We have seen very little return. Ronaldo cost us one hundred million Euros from Manchester United. At the time, it seemed like good value, but now we need the money we will be selling him."

It is expected that the sale of Messi, Pique, Busquets and Puyol from Barcelona could net the Spanish govenment three hundred million Euros, whilst the sale of Sergio Ramos, Ronaldo, Casillas, Higuan, Benzema, Ozil and Kaka from Real Madrid would net even more, closer to seven hundred million Euros.

"By selling these phenomenally good players," said Nombre, "We can halve the money we need to survive as a country. Both squads have something like a further thirty players each. We sell all them? Who knows, maybe we won't need a bailout."

It is expected that there will be a bidding war for the cream of the Spanish squads. Generally though, only Manchester City and Chelsea are ultimately able to afford both the initial cost and the ongoing wages of such superstars, although other Premiership teams could sneak in and take one or two of them. Brentford are expected to put in a sneaky bid for Ronaldo.

"I don't mind these players going to the English league," said Nombre. "They are not in the Eurozone, so if they go bust paying for these players, then nobody will mind."

It was not pointed out that only Spain bail out their football clubs.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more