Stock Markets Rise on Reports of Imminent Stock Market Rise

Funny story written by Tuttle No. 3

Monday, 19 December 2011

Stock markets rallied this week after Bloomberg news ran a story of an imminent stock market rise. The original source of the story was Elvis Yeung, regular contributor to the Bloomberg channel and investment analyst for Texas based S.F. Prophecy & Pardners.

Their hedge fund scored several notable hits this year, in particular a successful short on agricultural commodities - a move described by competing funds as "going against the grain".

Their hedge against that gamble was unusual - they bought shares in a startup venture producing self help sleep tapes. Titles included, "Sell rice or you're an idiot." and "Coffee? Are you out of your mind?!"

The venture folded after just six months but commodity prices unexpectedly fell between April and July, netting S.F. Prophecy over $325 million. 

Mr Yeung was unavailable for comment at the time of press. But after receiving his handwritten Christmas card of over 500 carefully crafted words, many Spoof employees have reported an irresistible urge to buy Greek sovereign debt.

Nobody knows what Mr Yeung's next master stroke will be but it looks like it's gonna be a cracking 2012 for the Euro!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more