Inflation is rising fast, say economists

Funny story written by IainB

Sunday, 6 November 2011

image for Inflation is rising fast, say economists
The economy started inflating after a big crunch, giving physicists ideas

Economists are turning to cosmologists to keep track of inflation, it is rising that fast.

"It's going up so quickly," said Esme Duvet, economist for the London School of Economics Economy Department, "that we've been told that future economists will be able to look back at this period and see an afterglow of the event in the Currency Microwave Background."

With models of the economy matching cosmological theories of the early universe where the whole of creation exploded from the size of a pea to the size of a, well, universe in a fraction of a second, economists have joined forces with several cosmologists in a hope of getting a handle on the massive inflation.

"We've applied our hypothetical models of the early universe to the current economic climate," said cosmologist, Sue Pernova. "There's a remarkable correlation that suggests that sometime in the next ten to the minus fifteen seconds, the economy will inflate to three hundred billion times it's current size and create loads of money. This should probably be given to Greece. Frankly I'm amazed nobody thought of asking us to model the economy before, We've always known that rapid inflation follows a big crunch and bang."

On hearing it described as an Economic Climate, Esme Duvet has immediately co-opted several climatologists into the discussion to see if they have any models that can be applied to the current economic meltdown.

"It is remarkably like the way glaciers are retreating," said Anne Ville. "Amazing correlation really. What really strikes me about economists bringing in cosmologists and climatologists to use our models to see what will happen to the economy is that economists don't really know what's going on, and are the biggest waste of money in the country at the moment. And I'm including the Houses of Parliament's Biscuit Budget in that!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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