St Paul's 'loose canon' resigns amid Stock Exchange protest

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Thursday, 27 October 2011


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Piles of rubbish led to the shock resignation

London - The cathedral's loose cannon chancellor Rev Dr Giles Fraser has been forced to quit because of alleged Dale Farm pikeys squatting in the piazza.

He had famously allowed hundreds of the Essex squatters to take refuge in Paternoster Square in a protest against filthy City capitalism.

But mountains of rubbish soon mounted up outside the famous landmark which last night's gale-force winds quickly carpeted all over London.

The last straw came as spent condoms, used syringes and shattered bong remains washed up in a massive puddle outside 10 Drowning Street, narrowly missing Larry The Cat's nocturnal canoodles with an unidentified government pussy.

A No 10 spokesperson said today that Fraser was a well known leftie who ought to be on a Community Payback Scheme cleaning the streets for knowingly breaking the law on er, aiding and abetting.

"Besides," said the source, "Rev Fraser looks an awful lot like Ross Kemp, first husband of that gormless Rebecca Brookes woman in the Murdoch hacking scandal debacle.

"No wonder the PM had to put his foot down, those Nick Clegg taunts about being a weak willed tosser devoid of any authority really rankled this time round."

Archbitch of Canterbury Dr Rowan Williams is 104.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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