"Occupy Wall Street" Spreads; "Occupy FAO Schwarz" Staged by Kids

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 23 October 2011

image for "Occupy Wall Street" Spreads; "Occupy FAO Schwarz" Staged by Kids
Taking a break from the protest arena

Adult protesters were busy in Zuccotti Park in downtown NY as a group of babies and toddlers marched uptown to 58th Street and Fifth Avenue to the world's most famous toy store in order to stage a protest all their own.

The kids voiced lots of complaints about their parents as they settled themselves in the store. Numerous pint-sized speakers who stepped (or crawled) up to the makeshift podium were wildly cheered by their cohorts as they shouted out their concerns. Ok, ok, some in the crowd could only talk baby talk, but still -- they were able to show support through frequent and frenzied use of their toy rattles. And when the occasion warranted it, they were not shy about showing their disdain with loud and extended Bronx cheers (commonly known as raspberries to non-Bronxites).

According to the protesters, their parents give them too many carrot sticks and too few cookies as snacks. They put them to bed too early and permit them to watch educational TV only. They don't buy enough toys for them, and they are constantly dragging them off to boring play dates, instead of letting them just hang out with their own friends.

"And my mom and dad don't do much home cooking," announced a three-year-old protester with a lisp. His twin sister backed him up. "Yep," she complained, "It's takeout city at our house."

Two five-year-old celebrity kids added pizzazz to the event, lending support to the demonstrators as well as getting publicity for their famous parents. Barron William Trump handed out complimentary lollipops, wrapped in green cellophane adorned with the Trump logo. Suri Cruise distributed chocolate chip cookies and flyers about "One Shot," dad Tom's latest movie project.

An executive from FAO Schwarz, prying one of the store's teddy bears away from a drooling toddler, said the store was delighted to host the event. "Kids have rights too," he announced, dollar signs dancing in his eyes as he cleaned up the rescued teddy bear with a baby wipe.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more