LOS ANGELES-According to a new study from the Brookings Institution, the income gap between the rich and super-rich has reached its largest margin in a century. This revelation has sparked outrage among the (almost) richest people in the country.
Several cities, because of the lack of donations, have placed after hours ATM Machines at their sperm banks. Now you can go to the blood plasma bank and get some cash and then you go over to the Sperm Bank ATM and who knows how many children we wi...
In yet another twist in the PRISM leaks scandal, it appears that Edward Snowden never actually left the United States, and is in fact hiding out in Sacramento, California. Sources are now saying that Snowden only mailed his cell phone to Hong Kong a...
Intrepid Reuters news reporters have uncovered that the immense Hurricane Sandy, so huge that it was dubbed 'The Perfect Storm', was actually a fabricated event. It appears that God created the mega storm for what to our eyes was a epochial effort to...
Since 1967, Israel has maintained a presence on the West Bank, the Palestinian territory situated west of the Jordan River and the Dead Sea. Although the United Nations Security Council has, since 1979, referred to the West Bank as "Palestinian terri...
Bank of America President and CEO Brian Moynihan doesn't claim to be a gifted chef. "I can barely find my way around a kitchen," he admitted with a self-deprecating grin. "But I felt such strong appreciation for our loyal bank employees that I wa...
Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan is grateful and proud to be part of the 1% that possess nearly all of the nation's wealth. Nevertheless, Moynihan hasn't forgotten about the 99% who aren't quite so fortunate - far from it. "I've been blessed," h...
Yesterday in Zuccotti Park, New York City, headquarters of the Occupy Wall Street movement, confused Occupy activist Jonas Field spoke up on behalf of George Zimmerman, the self-appointed Neighborhood Watch guard who shot and killed unarmed African-A...
Bank of America sustained a number of blows to its public reputation over the past year, most recently in a class action lawsuit by defrauded customers, which resulted in a settlement of $410 million. Nevertheless, in a press conference yesterday in...
Late last night while taking his regular "constitutional" (Gingrich's preferred term for his nightly moonlight strolls through the woods, the moniker he feels best demonstrates his passionate commitment to the civil rights propagated by our Founding...
After a promising start, Raggedy Ass Dolls are being pulled from store shelves, following a slew of parent's complaints that the dolls inspired gluttony and sloth in their offspring. The Raggedy Ass Doll, modeled after the popular Raggedy Ann and...
NYC, NY - In New York City, the rich and successful initiated Protests in Hells Kitchen on Friday in hopes of illuminating the injustice done to them by the 99%. Their main reason for the protest lies in the numbers of their opponents name. The...
Protesters this morning braved freezing conditions as the Occupy Wall Street movement spread to the North Pole. Groups of elves were seen sitting and chanting anti-capitalist songs, while Santa Claus read from a prepared statement. "As the CEO...
Now the middle of classes were middler than most They had oodles of things on which they could boast. They had cars, and houses, and TVs and more They were boasting and boasting of goodies galore. Til one day the bottom all dropped out from under The middle of classes was torn quite asunder. The greed of the 1% people with money Decided to steal all the milk and the honey. There'd be n...
New York - The international financial industry now controls Heaven as well as Hell. After years of behind-the-scenes maneuvering and back room deals, Wall Street officially became a major religion of the world this morning. With a hierarchy mirro...
Occupy Wall Street, Occupy London, Occupy Berlin, the group coming to be known as Occupy [Insert Place Name Here] are springing up in cities faster than Manchester City fans who were at the Manchester derby. Finding a place to occupy that isn't al...
New York - Mayor Michael Bloomberg has called off the Thanksgiving Day Parade, charging that the event is a public health and safety hazard. Following a strategy he developed in evicting Occupy Wall Street from the financial district, Bloomberg th...
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