Hardcore Music Venue Requires Windmilling in Moshpits to Enforce Social Distancing
CHICAGO - Amidst fear of permanent closure during the pandemic, famed punk venue Last Exit announced it will be re-opening with live music shows after finalizing COVID-protocols. "We've tried to come up with innovative ways to appease attendees of…
Read full storyTo Z or Not-Z? That is the question!
People in Ukraine are straining their brains and craning their necks to figure out why all the Z’s are painted on Russian tanks here, according to Gladimhere Poopnshitsky, resident interviewed by Z-news10. “I was happily taken a crap today when I…
Read full storyA Cincinnati Woman Is Pregnant With Tentuplets
CINCINNATI, Ohio – (Satire News) – Tabloid Today has just made it known that a 47-year-old, unmarried cleaning woman will soon be giving birth to Tentuplets. TT’s Papaya Bamboo learned that the woman’s name is Haddie “Beyonce” Bangberry, and she…
Read full storyFungus superhighway discovered in London
Old Baily Press: Parliament officials last month confirmed evidence at two health facilities in London, England of an untreatable, drug-resistant fungus called Candida auris. Four patients infected with it are no longer with the living, after putting…
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