Al Franken accused of touching himself inappropriately but not what you think!
Washington D.C. - Comet Pizza regular, Edray Uttbay, called our pervert hotline in our newsroom to report yet another sordid case of inappropriate touching. The perpetrator? Al Franken. The victim? Al Franken. Comet Pizza regular, Edray Uttbay,...
Read full storyPresident Forgets To Pardon 51,649,998 Turkeys
WASHINGTON, Nov. 22 -- In a joke-filled pre-Thanksgiving ceremony at the White House yesterday afternoon, President Trump continued a much-beloved American tradition and forgot to pardon approximately 51,649,998 turkeys. While USA Today estimates...
Read full story