Russians Celebrate Trump's Victory With His Wine
SAINT LOUIS POST DISPATCH AP -- Senior officials in the Russian government celebrated Donald Trump's victory over Hillary Clinton as a geopolitical win for Moscow, according to U.S. officials who said that American intelligence agencies interce...
Read full storyMcDonald's opens in St. Peter's Square: Want Friars with That?
Vatican City - - Don't give me that old time religion. Fast food leader McDonald's is incorporating nutrition with salvation, locating its next new restaurant in the spiritual heart of the Catholic Church. The St. Peter's Square site was home la...
Read full storyLeft Wingers To Help NRA & Gun Makers
CHICAGO TRIBUNE AP -- Since the November election gun sales, which more than doubled under Obama, have been dropping sharply, because of lessened fears that the government will take away the assault rifles and other armaments we need to protect...
Read full storyTrump Appointee: America Successor To Crusaders
NEW YORK TIMES by Henry Wallace One of Donald Trump's appointments is National Security Advisor Gen. Michael Flynn, a radical Islamophobe who declares that Islam is not a religion but rather, a political ideology, like fascism, which is at war...
Read full storyTrump People To Promote Anti-Science Beliefs In Schools
NEW YORK TIMES by Elmer Gantry Donald Trump has appointed Betsy DeVos, who is dedicated to undermining and eliminating the public school system as the secretary of education. She is a fundamentalist Christian member of a Protestant denomin...
Read full storyTrump Changes Wall To Just Keep Out Muslims
BOSTON GLOBE AP -- Donald Trump has chosen Andy Puzder for secretary of labor. As the ultrarich CEO of restaurant chains, he relies on the most easily exploited non-union labor for the dirty work, usually Latino immigrants, which doesn't compo...
Read full storyGOP To Kill Thousands Of Sick People
CHICAGO TRIBUNE Recent studies indicate that Obamacare (The Affordable Care Act) has saved thousands of lives and prolonged the lives and decreased suffering of several millions. When asked about this, Paul Ryan said, "We're going to repeal i...
Read full storyTrump Reveals Hillary Clinton Is Spawn Of Roswell Incident Alien
Relying on his own super-duper-secret intelligence sources, Donald Trump has revealed what he knows about the Roswell Incident, an event in 1947 where some claim the US military covered up the crash of an alien spaceship and the death of two alien pa...
Read full storyTom and Jerry/Wil E Coyote and Roadrunner not seen since Trump won the election
Ever since one of the world's most famous cartoon characters, Dark Lord Donald Trump came to power, questions have been asked about the whereabouts of other cartoon characters. Tom and Jerry, famously known for not getting along, and their cultura...
Read full storyPrince Philip to give Donald Trump guidance
Prolific dropper of faux pas, Prince Philip will be giving the young whipper-snapper Donald Trump lessons in how to offend the most people in the shortest amount of time, it has been revealed. Famed through-out the world for being culturally cluel...
Read full storyWurzels to play at President Trump's Inauguration
World famous Cider Drinkers, and purveyors of jokey country pop, The Wurzels are the only band who will play at President Trumps big party on January 20th. The group, known for such hits as 'I've Got A Brand New Combine Harvester' 'I Had A Brand N...
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