Trump Is Physically Restrained From Tweeting By His Campaign
Donald Trump has been known for putting his unfiltered thoughts on Twitter at all hours. It is here that he excoriates people who have hurt his feelings. Over the years, he has issued a stream of cruel and unrestrained insults, savaging his rivals...
Read full storyMother Nature Picketing God Outside Pearly Gates Over Labor Rights
Pearly Gates, Heaven - Mother Nature tips back her raggedy leaf-crown in front of God's famous gates, refusing to go to arbitration over their on-going dispute regarding her wage package. The wand-waving Disastress has been very vocal over the last s...
Read full storyOde to an Ex
Hag, slag, you filthy old bag! Your minge is a sewer, your titties, they sag You can't call me squeamish, but I had to gag When I saw your pug-mug in that tacky slut mag Your 'friends' they all hate you, your pimp is a fag Trundlin' along in h...
Read full storyCoffee shop customer feels good about leaving a $20 tip.
Seattle, WA - Contemplating how utterly thrilled the staff of the local coffee shop must be, 32-year-old Brandon Reenberg felt good about himself Monday for leaving a remarkable tip. Sources confirm Mr. Reenberg had a vague, poorly concealed smile...
Read full storyHouse Republicans Shocked to Learn 18th Time's Isn't A Charm
"I could've sworn this influx of duplicate emails we've already seen before would present us with some new information." After completing his review of the recently discovered email collection, FBI Director James Comey has stated that no addition...
Read full story