Hillary Is Elected President
In a miraculous and purely patriotic act, the Electoral College, a group of officials no one has ever really seen, have decided that it would be in the best interest of the nation and the world, to dissolve their group and allow the majority of voter...
Read full storyPresident-elect Trump thanks Putin, gives him Alaska & Hawaii, throws in Chris Christie!
President-elect Donald Trump announced today that in appreciation of Vladimir Putin's help in his election that he will, after his inauguration, give Russia the states of Alaska and Hawaii. "I am throwing in Christie," said Trump, "for shits and gigg...
Read full storyPresident-elect Trump to Become Honorary Scoutmaster
Special to TPN - Boy Scouts of America president Randall Stephenson announced that President-elect Donald Trump will become an honorary scoutmaster at the organization's National Jamboree to be held in July 2017. "Mr. Trump exemplifies all those...
Read full storyRefugees scooped out of Lake Erie
Canadian border control boats rescued almost 800 US Americans yesterday seeking to escape the USA in dinghis across Lake Erie. All were wearing T-shirts declaring 'We love maple syrup' and were humming tunes by Justin Bieber and Katie Moore. They wer...
Read full storyCelebrities Line Up Hoping to Be Pardoned by Obama Before He Leaves Office
Washington, DC It has long been a tradition for U.S. Presidents leaving office to pardon people. President Clinton pardoned 140 in the last days of his office. Some of the celebrities requesting meetings with Obama, besides the obvious like O.J. S...
Read full storyTrump's Wall Might Only Be a Fence in Some Areas, And Only Rows of Shubbery in Others
New York, NY Trump transition sources added more to the information about Trump's wall on the U.S./Mexico border. Earlier, the news was broken that Trump had said the wall might only be a fence in some places. Today, sources further admitted that man...
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