Trump Goes To Dark Side, Changes Name To Darth Hirsutias
The real estate tycoon formerly known as Donald Trump has gone completely to the dark side and is now known as Darth Hirsutias. At a press conference from Traitors Towers, formerly Trump Towers, the dark lord Hirsutias explained the name change an...
Read full story'Cock and Balls' man in court again
A 44 year old man from Greenfield has once more appeared before Uppermill magistrates accused of drawing an obscene image on a neighbours car. Doug Graves, appearing in court for the third time in six years, was accused of 'drawing a large cock an...
Read full storyHow do We Improve Our Prisons?
"UK Prison Reform. A serious issue that needs to be taken seriously." (BBC London. 19/05/2016) Some suggestions. 1. Daily full body massages. 2. Freely available prostitutes. 3. Boxing stadiums. 4. Regular visiting entertainers like Rolf Harris or Boris Johnson. 5. Comprehensive menu prepared by Gordon Ramsay. 6. Wine, spirits and beer available with all meals. 7. Prescr...
Read full storyThe Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe
The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe. The theory that has rattled scientists and left a big hole in my sandwich. The Chuck Norris Quantum Theory of the Universe states that if one was to combine Walker, Texas Ranger and the Delta Force, a quantum hole in time in space will appear, and Chuck Norris will suddenly wage a war against Mankind. Sounds scary doesn't it. This theory surfa...
Read full storyThe Americans to Deploy Their Chuck Norris Against ISIS
ISIS have been seen as a threat to the Texas, sorry, American spirit for years, and today was the day that President Obama green-lit project Norris, which has been under development since Walker, Texas Ranger. An anonymous source in ISIS tells us...
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