Hold your nose party reports delay with new weight scales on "lesser evil" problem
The HNP (Hold Your Nose Party), currently instrumental in resolving the "But just who is the lesser evil of the two major candidates question," is experiencing some delay. In review, Mr. Arnold Batorswich, Director of the HNP, recently stepped for...
Read full storyLocal racist worried Trump just pandering
A local man expressed concern today that Donald Trump's latest racially charged outburst may have been less than sincere. "It just seems a little too good to be true," said self-described racist Fred Stewart outside of a Trump rally in Minneapoli...
Read full storyTrump suspends campaign amid rumors of mysterious Freeka virus!
The wire services broke the news this past hour that Donald Trump has suspended his campaign for President! An inside source has informed the New York Times that the offices are closed and that Trump and the entire staff have checked into a little kn...
Read full storyNew Trump sign interpreter just man flicking off camera
Citing cost concerns and staffing issues, a spokesman announced Thursday that the Trump campaign will be replacing formally trained sign interpreters with a man just constantly extending his middle finger at all times. The spokesman added that in...
Read full storyIf You Don't Support Hillary, You're a Bigot!
I'm sick of all these privileged bigots who are demeaning and denigrating Hillary. So I am here to educate you on why you MUST stop this. Here are the ignorant fools who need to check their privilege. 1. Iraqi orphans. Iraqi orphans have orp...
Read full storyGoing for Gold
With the onset of the 2016 Rio Olympics BBC Executives had been concerned about the overall drop in viewing figures compared to those of the London Olympics, at the last estimate a frightening 32%. Seemingly, interest in the Rio games had been far...
Read full storyTim Tebow joins Women's Olympic Gymnastics Team
After toiling in the NFL for a number of highly paid, but disappointingly unproductive seasons, Tim Tebow has decided to take his show on a different road. In the midst of their gold medal run at the Rio Olympics, the U.S. Women's Olympic Gymnas...
Read full storyPete Rose Says He Should Be in the Baseball Hall of Fame Since He Never Did Steroids
Cooperstown, NY Sounding like the desperate attempt of an aging one-time superstar to get into Baseball's Hall of Fame that it is, Pete Rose made a startling announcement today. "The truth is, even though they didn't have steroids when I was playi...
Read full storyCosby Gives First Interview in Over a Year
Silver Spring, MD-Bill Cosby agreed to be interviewed before his upcoming court appearance. Cosby has been charged with sexual assault in a 2005 case and has been accused of sexual assault by 60 women. The first question was "Dr. Cosby, the most r...
Read full storyThe Viral Broadcast That's Changing the World.
Young Francis Muldoon was a strange little boy. He lived in a village in County Tipperary Ireland called Ballytohellnback. His father was a turnip farmer who also reared sheep and his mother worked as a maid at the local parish church of St. Patrick...
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