Dr. Billingsgate Has Elephant Trunk Grafted To His Nose To Prove He's Republican
BILLINGSGATE POST: Dr. Billingsgate, citing the dearth of leadership in the Republican Party, revealed that he recently had a baby elephant trunk grafted to his own snout to prove that he was a true Republican. Knowing that this might infuriate som...
Read full storyBritish Gas Price War
Like most of your houses the Back and to the Left offices are freezing cold. With no windows and gas prices higher than our defence lawyer on day two of our fraud trial, it's a recipe for disaster or hypothermia whichever one claims us first. But help is on the way after British Gas said they would be cutting their prices by 5% and it is hoped that the other companies will follow suit. We spoke...
Read full storyThe Astrology Channel pulls out of State of the Union coverage
Washington DC - Citing an off-color Mars/Neptune conjunction in Pisces followed by a psychotic Aquarius New Moon the acclaimed Astrology Channel has suddenly turned chicken. And cancelled Tuesday's live stream Presidential rant. It's the first...
Read full storyArsenal Win But Real Madrid Have Ten Eropean Cups
A weird event happened in the world of football this weekend: Arsenal won away at one of the best teams in the country. After (if you read the football papers) a hundred and seventy five years and nearly a million games Arsenal finally managed to scr...
Read full storyGod Has a Cosmic Sense of Humor, Christopher Hitchins Reports - 'Paradise is not what you expect, mate!'
Heavensgate - Every morning just after sunrise, says Christopher Hitchins, he and the entire heavenly host gather with their harps and neatly folded wings at the edge of a convenient cloud. Then as they drink their coffee and enjoy the air, they laug...
Read full storySatirical Website Fakes Charlie Hebdo-Style Attack To Cash In On Expanded Readership.
"Absolutely despicable!" stated loyal satire fan Jason Nimknuts when he found out about it. "I knew they could be low, but I would never have imagined them stooping to this! Dumb bastards!" After seeing the famed French satire magazine Charlie He...
Read full storyPM Vows 100% Employment
BBC News has reported today that David Cameron has pledged the Tories will help Britain become "a nation of full employment." He has not stated a specific time frame for these proposals but hopes that they will happen soonish. This announcement a...
Read full story'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP
Nigel Garage, leader of the UKIPs, has launched a new policy offensive to counter the threat posed by a rampant Green Party in the UK. If elected, the UKIPs have confirmed that they will erected a dome over the UK which will ensure that no 'foreig...
Read full storyBlunts and 40s party kicks off MLK, Jr. Day celebration
Spark that blunt, pass the Milwaukee's, and certainly don't pay that child support. It's Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, everybody! Which means it's time to extol everything and all things black. No wonder no one goes to work or school on MLK Day! So fill your morning today with a tri-marathon of the Friday movies, maybe hit Church's for lunch, and make overtures towards the next fine as...
Read full storyNew Satellite TV Sofa Channel - "Too Cosy"
Regulators have slammed the new Satellite TV Sofa Channel for not conforming to TV franchise guidelines. The channel schedule is described as too "twee" and cosy in a report published yesterday. The subscription package, consisting of a free sofa...
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