Libyan Man Selling The Crap Out of Pool Toys Down By The Docks
Tripoli, Libya - Amhar Sandibar never thought he'd be so lucky again. Back in the good old Khadafi years, he had a nice little business selling swimming pool supplies: floating loungers, blow-up whales and arm-swimmies, etc. to a wealthy flow of the...
Read full storyCapitol Hill awash with reports 'Obama born with albino dick'
Washington AC/DC - They're hosing down the Oval Orifice men's room this weekend after someone posted footage of the President's annual urino-genitary medical exam on the White House intranet. It shows the President with a 10-inch lily-white willy...
Read full storyThe Election Part Two
Part two of our look at the candidates in the upcoming election has us conducting a interview round the back of the houses of Parliament. Inside a large bin where the Lib Dems have their campaign headquarters and we were ushered inside by a blind man being led by another blind man. Nick Clegg was seated on stool made of the last elections manifesto, it looked hollow. He seemed pleased to see us...
Read full storyPhil Mickelson Can't Stop All The Hat-Tipping Nonsense!
Scottsdale, Arizona - Chip Fairway, here at the world famous PGA Training Facility of Scottsdale, where pro players can undergo any number of tests they think will help lower their score out on the course. A well-trained team of doctors, swing coache...
Read full storyPapyrus of Ezekiel's Last Prophecy Discovered
Last year, archaeologists digging in Iraq near Al Kifi discovered what they claimed was the tomb of the Hebrew Prophet Ezekiel. World media made light of the find because it had always been believed that the great prophet was buried in England at Wes...
Read full storyWoman Looses Breast Implant In Vacuum Cleaner Mishap
Spartanburg, SC: A bag-less upright is bag-less no more. On Friday a woman was convalescing from a breast augmentation when a tragedy occurred. Around 1:15 PM police and medical personnel were dispatched to the home of a hysterical husband. Lt. Br...
Read full storyMilliband Keynote Speech to Toon Town
Friends… I…I…what I want to say is this…that while I was travelling around the country…I…I met a girl…a girl called Mary… and Mary had a little lamb whose fleece was white as snow …and what I want to say is this…that…that everywhere that Mary went the lamb was sure to go. (Pause for applause) And then I met a man, a…a… man called Humpty…a man called Humpty Dumpty… And, friends, Humpty Dumpty...
Read full storyPort Augusta, the cross roads to everywhere
Port Augusta, South Australia, is part of the "Iron Triangle" which sister town Whyalla is part of. Port Augusta is effectainly called Port Agutta and houses many attractions such as the two lane Port Augusta bridge which was used in the film "Wolf Creek" Further attractions are the alcohol free dry zone covering the whole town, don't worry folks you can drink in the hotels but not in the s...
Read full storyCanada Seeks To Trade Away The Biebs
Ottawa, Ontario - Canada's Department of National Beaver Pelts and Other Foreign Trades, has initialized negotiations with its #1 trading partner, the U.S., to see which downtrodden celebrities they might be able to get in exchange for Pop-Star, Just...
Read full storyAdvice for Graduating Students
I'd been working as an administrative assistant at an Ivy League university for about a year when my boss, the school's marketing director, asked me to compile a list of inspirational quotes for the graduating class. I dutifully sent a mass email to the alumni, asking them to share the best advice they had for the students before they entered the "real" world. I then boiled down their responses to...
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