Masturbation Police May Be Necessary
Joni Ernst, the GOP candidate for the U.S. Senate in Iowa today spoke about the "sanctity of sacred sperm." "While it is true that a fertilized egg is a person, which is my position that certainly outlaws abortion in the cases of rape or incest,...
Read full storyBlack is Black. I want my kitchen back.
CONSUMER NEWS - POTS AND KETTLES ACCUSE EACH OTHER OF COVERT BLACKNESS The incidence of name calling between kitchen implements has reached shocking new heights. That was the claim made by Mrs I. Liesalot of Manchester yesterday. Ms Liesalot, who has handed the manufacturer of her newly purchased pot and kettle with court documents, says she and her family have not slept in weeks. Said Mrs Lie...
Read full storyCrazies To Take Over United States
Some relatively sane GOP House members are voluntarily exiting their seats in safe districts and will be replaced by other politicians who can only be described as "zany" ultra right-wingers. As the New York Times summarized it: One nominee propo...
Read full storyRyder Cup Congratulations
Congratulations to the European team for winning the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles, Scotland. Yeah, right! The top players from several European nations played against the United States. Sure. As though the European countries didn't already outnumber the United States, the Scots must have had the golf course hot-wired for their European team. When you see a golf ball headed for the cow past...
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