Confessions of a Spam Filter
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Sometimes I'm bored and don't do my job right. I'm guilty of the following bad deeds: -- Just to foul up the works, I often grab up some non-spam emails and refuse to let them out of my clutches. I enjoy the confusion, scheduling conflicts, and pandemonium that results. Yes! -- My computer owner is obnoxious and full of himself, so last week I let a lo...
Read full storySecret Service director resigns following White House raccoon rampage
Washington - US Secret Service director Julia Pierson has quit her job after a raccoon ran riot in the White House and marked the Lincoln Bedroom with its anal scent glands. Pierson had been criticised for not having taken the raccoon threat serio...
Read full storyEbola Outbreak Fears May Be Warranted
The Ebola outbreak has set off an alarm around the world. Public health leaders say the intense concern is appropriate, given the unprecedented size of the outbreak and the deadliness of the virus. All experts say the outbreak has also produced a...
Read full storyWoman sues sperm bank after getting pregnant by rare coyote
Ohio - Mrs Gladys Chupacabra, 69, is suing her local sperm bank after it accidentally inseminated her with viles - uh, vials! - of coyote sperm...from a rare black prairie wolf. A $100m lawsuit lodged at Cook County Circuit Court alleges the mix-u...
Read full storyTo Woo Women Voters, Republicans to Hand Out Free Rape Kits at Their National Convention in 2024
WASHINGTON, D.C.-With Joe Biden winning the women's vote nearly 57% to 42% over his challenger Donald Trump, Republicans are poised, in 2024, to woo back the women's vote. Their secret plan: To hand out free rape kits to women leading up to and at th…
Read full storyExhibit or Exhibitionism?
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM, TEXASS - The citizens of Houston, TX, have a problem with Jorge Marin's statues. They're male--and they're naked. "Whether they be flesh and blood or bronze, we don't cotton to no naked men here in Houston, partner," Jim ("Big Bear") Butt said. The brawny bronzes in the sculptor's Wings of the City collection have stirred more than a few Houstonites, as residents...
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