After a Day of Spinning, Jay Carney Requires Nearly a Pharmacy to Sleep at Night
Washington, D.C. - After an average day of spinning details of current events to make the President look good, no matter how bad the situation, White House spokesman, Jay Carney, needs practically an entire pharmacy to help him sleep at night.
Read full storyCops Target Drivers With Heads Up Asses; Amateur Contortionists Listening To AC/DC Cited
TOOT TOOT, WHEELING, W.Va. -- The city Police Department is launching a new roadway safety checkpoint in which motorists will be randomly stopped to make sure they aren't driving with their heads up their asses. "Keep your head out of your ass and...
Read full storyMan's Son Bites Dog
50 years ago, in Westontown, PA, on May 8th, Charles E. Trekk famously bit a schnauzer on the corner of Main Street and Earl Avenue during an altercation with the pooch's owner, Jerrold Sherman. A small argument escalated into an angry situation. At...
Read full storyPutin compares Prince to Jimmy Savile in intercontinental slanging match
Moscow - Vladimir Putin lashed out at Charles today after the prince compared him to Nazi Dictator Adolf Hitler in a verbal turf war about ugly stuff. "Like father, like son," the Russian leader tweeted, posting pics of Charles and notorious paedo...
Read full storyDigester's Reader - Pretty Meat
As health and energy foods are becoming increasingly popular for a culture completely obsessed with 'self', this edition of Digester's Reader has a look at one of the newest additions that could take the market by storm: Pretty Meat. With the cost and availability of meats that we have known for so long now headed in opposite, and less than pleasing directions along with the recent UN mandate t...
Read full storyPeople Indecisive Over Marmite Fast-tracked Into Politics
In 2013, anyone that claimed they weren't fussed if you put Marmite on their toast were fast-tracked into British political parties, to ensure their incredible indecisiveness and bullshitting talents did not go to waste. Last year, countless membe...
Read full storyAn issue of trust. And toilets.
Can we trust politcians? Do they trust us? Can you tell when they are lying because their lips are moving? Does a bear shit in the woods? And if it does and there is no one there to hear it, does it still make a sound? These are just some of the ques...
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