Jay-Z Forced to Rewrite "99 Problems" After Sister-in-Law Becomes Number 100
New York City - Famous rapper Jay-Z thought he had it made. Married to one of the most famous people in the world, singer Beyonce, the wordsmith has been enjoying life since 2004 when he announced he only had ninety-nine problems. That is hundreds le...
Read full storyLong Lost Tybee Bomb Found
(STT News - Tybee Island, Georgia) A long lost nuclear bomb found accidentally by island regular, DP Whitehead, who, while patrolling the area of the island, was announced today. The Mark-15 nuke was lost in 1958 when a B-47 bomber and F-86 fight...
Read full storyObama Unfriends Putin
In a clear signal of his deep displeasure with Russian President Vladimir Putin, President Obama announced today the "nuclear option" of sanctions-unfriending Putin on Facebook. "That's right, I did it" an uncharacteristically agitated president...
Read full storyEnglish Delivery Service Fires Inept Employees
The Owls' Wings, an English delivery service previously labelled as "shitter than the rest", has finally fired its under-performing employees and hired "new and exciting prospects for the future". Ahead of the busy and important summer schedule fo...
Read full storyGlobal warming and the Krauthammer blues in Club #Rigor Mortis
I ran into Charles Krauthammer at Club #Rigor Mortis not long after he appeared as a FOX News All Star with George Will debunking everything climate change. He was hunkered down at one end of a long shining bar with a small glass of something pink. Back of the bar a mammoth screen flickered various images. Waves lashed beaches, palm trees bent sideways severely, were plucked violently out o...
Read full storyJesus and Disciples Were Not Present When da Vinci Painted "The Last Supper"
Milan, Italy - An international panel of art experts and historians has unanimously agreed that Jesus Christ and his 12 Disciples were not actually present and did not personally sit for Leonardo da Vinci when da Vinci painted his famous mural "The L...
Read full story'First Billionaire of Hip-Hop' Dr Dre's pipe dreams go pear-shaped as Apple shrugs off Beats Electronics rumor mill
Cupertino, California - Realtors punting the sale of Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen's sprawling $50million Brentwood, LA mansion are back to square one amid reports that an imminent sale to Beats Electronics founder Dr Dre has bombed. The wannabe...
Read full storyMother's Day Math: As With Every Other Year, Card and Brunch Do Not Erase Pain of Pregnancy and Childbirth
Kansas City, MO - Despite always on-going efforts to increase the impact of their greeting cards, Hallmark Cards has confirmed that - in the opinions of the thousands of mothers polled each year - none of the cards in their line of Mother's Day cards...
Read full storyTybee Drug Ring Busted After Drug Mule Spotted At Airport
A Tybee Island drug ring was busted earlier this morning at the Savannah International Airport after custom's officials and the FBI spotted the cartel's drug mule after he disembarked a flight originating from Mexico. "It was pretty obvious he was...
Read full storyWhat's in a name?
What year is it? 2014 yes, but in China it is the year of the horse. Naming a year after an animal might seem ridiculous to us but it has been tradition there for centuries. So has eating the penis of endangered big cats and snorting crushed ivory cu...
Read full storyMan's Huge Shit Blocks Toilet During Girlfriend's Visit To Condo
Whether it was a case of nervous agitation and uncontrolled excitement, or the direct result of an earlier-consumed over-ripe curry hasn't yet been ascertained, but the upshot of some or all of the above was that one lovestruck Englishman was today c…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Complains About Dwindling Number of Ways to Shock Audiences
San Francisco - At a recent concert stop at the "City by the Bay", pop nuisance Miley Cyrus whined that it's getting too hard to shock audiences at her shows these days and that Madonna and Lady Gaga have racked up most of the good shock value over t...
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