After Suffering Exhaustion From Signing Executive Orders, President Needs Vacation
Washington D.C. - Next month, after a grueling schedule of signing executive orders, President Obama and his family will take a two week vacation to the dilapidated ruins of Martha's Vineyard, Mass., for some much needed rest. The president's...
Read full storyHillary Clinton at Club Ali Baba and His Forty Daughters for meeting with ISIS in Iraq
Pepe Warezabar here, just returned to Baghdad, and speaking into my laptop after rendezvous in Mosul with Hillary and the leader of ISIS. On the way there, yes, it was the orange Honda with plenty of dust, thank the bejeezus, me with pedal to the metal and Hillary in black burqa and wraparounds. Was she nervous? Who wasn't. Look, those claw marks on my right forearm could have come from anyw...
Read full storyHillary Clinton secretly enters Iraq to assess ISIS and begin pre-presidential negotiations
In burqa and nijab, with her signature dark wraparounds, presidential candidate Hillary Clinton recently entered Iraq as part of her presidential campaign. No simple drop in and out with flak jacket, HRC slipped into Iraq and drove north from Bagh...
Read full storyA game of two Popes as Frankie the Argie and Benedict the Kraut post hexes for Sunday's World Cup final
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil - The new Vatican hex-messaging service has kicked into action with Pope Francis and Pope Benedict both tweeting like crazy about their influence with 'Him Upstairs'. Online oddsmakers Aintgottaprayer.con has responded acco...
Read full storySupreme court decision money speaks with first amendment rights and personhood affects whistleblowers
Today's Supreme Court decision, that money (as with "money speaks") is entitled to first amendment protection and the rights of personhood, has again been hailed with the word "freeeedomm!" on conservative twitter sites. This new "money speaks" de...
Read full storyPres. Obama Goes Strong to Hoop on Border Security, Issues New # Campaign
Texas - In a move to signal to the nation how serious he is on solving the border crisis in Texas, President Obama launched a new Twitter campaign aimed at forcing the hordes of illegal immigrants trying to come into our country to instantly lose...
Read full storyReal Ale Madrid
Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert is never shy to try out new ideas. His latest being a trip for his team to watch Real Madrid in the hope that it would make them play like them. The trip didn't quite go to plan though when the team were turned away...
Read full storyA league of their own
The FA have drawn up yet more controversial plans to introduce a B league comprising of reserve players from the championship with the winners gaining promotion to league two. The convoluted plans have come in for harsh criticism with teams unsu...
Read full storyKanye Komplains
After Kanye West was overheard complaining that the toilet paper on the Eurostar train was "too scratchy" for his arse, we tracked him down to find out how much of a bell end he really is. He was carried in on the backs of sixteen golden retrievers while church music was played at an ear splitting volume. A large silver hand descended from the sky (we had been ordered to remove our roof for the...
Read full storyUnited States to Celebrate 'Throwback Thursday' by Reinstituting Segregation for a Day
In a recent move to win support of the increasingly racist white population, the U.S. government has decided to celebrate Throwback Thursday by resegregating the American population for a period of 24 hours this Thursday. States have been instruc...
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