Anthony Weiner Sexts and Stalks His Latest Victim
One of the strangest slugs I've ever seen jumped out at me just the other day: ANTHONY WEINER WANTS YOU! So I opened up the email and found this: Hi. My name is Anthony Weiner. I've included quite a few naked pictures of myself as attachments to this email. I'm sick of twittering beautiful young women. They always rat me out to the media. So I'm sending some shots of my hot body to ugly middle-...
Read full storyBelichick: No idea where Hernandez learned criminal disregard of others
FOXBORO, MA--Speaking publicly for the first time about the murder charges facing former tight end Aaron Hernandez, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick emphasized that pathological wrongdoing and a lack of empathy for others were not the kind of v...
Read full storyCollective Madness Seizes Britain - By George!
A disturbing picture is emerging of a deranged population from the latest episodes of the famous soap: The Royle Family. For those who missed the latest episodes, through being in a dungeon far under the earth, we can reveal that Kate - the wife o...
Read full storyMice experience satanic ritual abuse memories when scientists 'mess with their heads'
Cambridge, Massachusetts - Scientists have frightened the bejaysus out of millions of furry little critters by implanting inaccurate memories in their brains in experiments aiming to explain false-memory syndrome. Yeah, that's right. In scenes...
Read full storyDolphins call each other dirty names
HARFOLD, Vt. - Harfold State College released a report today that supports the long-suspected assumption that dolphins were really mean deep down inside. "Calling each other names is just the beginning," said Jan Vincent, instructor of marine scie...
Read full storyWeiner's 'Carlos Danger' Ready to Rescue America
New York City -- Carlos Danger, an anti-hero created by mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner, is poised to get the nation moving again. His mission is to serve as America's super scapegoat, accepting the blame for all that is wrong with the USA. "One...
Read full storyBalham Family Says Come Dine With Me "Ruins Lives"
Balham residents Mr. and Mrs. Lyndon Transport told Spoof journalist Paxton Quigley how 24/7 broadcasts of Come Dine With Me and a local Waitrose had ruined their lives by turning their children against them and making them into pariahs in the local...
Read full storyTransplant Team on Standby for Royal Baby Boy George
In a frank interview today a Buckingham Palace spokesman was forced to admit that an unprecedented attempt to widen the royal gene pool had been a "dismal failure". It was during a discussion with the BBC's Royal Toadie, Nicholas Witchell, that th...
Read full storyWilliam and Kate's baby named Pat Taylor Morgan
The royal baby has been named Pat Taylor Morgan. "The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are delighted to announce that they have named their hermaphrodite child Pat Taylor Morgan," a statement from the palace said. "The baby will be known as The Ro...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Invites Anthony Weiner To Visit North Korea
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un has reportedly informed his American BFF Dennis Rodman that he wants him to tell Anthony Weiner that he is welcome to visit his fabulous country. The Rice Paddy Whack National News Agency reports that Kim Jong...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Talks About Her Weight Loss and Weight Gain and The Voodoo Woman Who Was Responsible
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Kirstie Alley has stated that she has pretty well tried every diet known to man. She said she has gone on the Yogurt Diet, the Fettuccine Alfredo Diet, the Carrot Sticks Diet, and even the M&M's Diet but they did not work wor...
Read full storyTaco Bell Bids Adios To Their Kids Meal
IRVINE, California - One of the nation's largest Mexican food franchise chains has just announced that it is discontinuing its popular Kids Meal and Plastic Toy menu item. Company Spokesperson Fresco Pibtonpick stated that the reason for the termi...
Read full storyYankees' Alex Rodriguez Facing A Lifetime Baseball Ban May Go Into Politics
NEW YORK CITY - New York Yankees' Alex Rodriguez has been informed by his lawyer Dardanelle Cyrus Blewpillski that it looks like his professional baseball playing days could be over or gone with the wind as they say south of the Mason-Dixon line.
Read full storyKim Jong Ummm Is Secretly Planning To Launch Newly Developed Fake Bomb At US
Best Korea's Supreme Being, Kim Jong Ummm, hates American Idol. He hates American pie. He hates American Airlines. But more than anything else, he hates the fact that after 13 years, not once, NOT ONCE has he been invited to compete on Dancing with...
Read full storyRoyal Clone Due Shortly
LONDON A spokesman for the royal family announced today that a clone of the newborn prince would be born to a surrogate mother within a few weeks. The delay, he said, was necessary because it was only possible to draw a DNA sample from Kate's amnio...
Read full storyNewspapers print one issue for next 2 years
To reduce costs, newspapers are going to print just one issue for the next 2 years. They will review it weekly and update some names as appropriate. "We realize that the stories are the same every day. Therefore, we don't need to be paying write...
Read full story